Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Parting Thoughts

It sure took me a while to get back to this blog, but I am back!  Since my last post, my youngest has graduated from home schooling high school.  I would like to share a letter that I sent to all of the families from my home schooling co-op.  I have home schooled with some of these families for over a decade, but for only a brief moment with others.  Either way, it has been my extreme privilege.  These were my parting thoughts for these sweet families that have meant a whole lot to me over the years.  The content of this letter, while personalized for those in my home school group, applies to home schoolers- and parents- everywhere.

June 5, 2011
Dear Friends,
How can I express my sincere thanks to all of you?  I am so thankful for having been a part of your lives.  It has been incredibly rewarding and I have learned so much from all of you.  Through your involvement in Potter’s Hand, you have all helped provide a great service to my four kids and they are better people as a result of your contributions to their lives.  On top of all that, it has been a blast!  I have loved my work with Potter’s Hand and have often marveled that so much work could be so doggone much fun!  An organization is only as good as its people, and Potter’s Hand members are the very best. 

Thank you also for the gift of diamond earrings.  I was shocked.  Completely.  I had never seriously considered the idea of owning diamond stud earrings, so imagine my shock when I opened the box!  It was so extremely generous of you and I appreciate the sacrifice that many of you must have made to contribute to such a generous gift.  It warms my heart and humbles me.  I will think fondly of my Potter’s Hand family whenever I wear them.  Thank you.

My years of home schooling may have come to an end, but my involvement in education has not.  I am currently working on my master’s degree in education and have a private practice as an educational therapist.  This is a fancy way of saying that I work with kiddos (and adults) that learn differently.  I absolutely love this new chapter of my life to which God has so graciously directed me.  Educational therapy is a no nonsense, extremely effective intervention that has the potential to change a student’s life and I find this to be very rewarding besides a lot of fun.  In addition, I will be writing, consulting, and intend to stay connected to home schoolers. 

After being a public school teacher for a short time after college, I began 24 of the most fabulous years of my life:  being a mom.  My husband allowed me to pursue my dream of being a stay-at-home, home schooling mom.  Yes, it was a financial sacrifice, but one that we made gladly.  The years have gone all too quickly which makes me even more thankful that I had a husband willing to allow me to raise our kids, in our own home, with our own values.  I implore all of you moms, if there is any way to make it possible for you to stay home with your kiddos and home school rather than heading off to work, do it!  Make the sacrifices.  Give up the vacation or the newer car.  Make home cooked meals in your own kitchens and forgo the restaurants.  Whatever you have to do to make ends meet so that your kids can have you at home, do it.  They need you and you won’t regret it.  And believe me, if my husband and I made it through 24 years on one modest income, so can you.  Raising your kids yourself is the greatest privilege ever.  Ever.  And it goes so quickly.

Allow me a moment to “introduce” my kids to you.  Luke at 24, is a retired U.S. Marine and Iraq War veteran, and will be heading back to college this fall.  Linnea is 22, has a bachelor’s degree in music with high honors, and will begin work on her master’s degree this fall.  Libby is almost 20, a senior in college, and is studying art.  She will complete her bachelor’s degree in 3 years with high honors.  Lexi, who is about to turn 18, completed almost a year’s worth of college while still in high school and will head to ****** ******** University on scholarship this fall with her sister, Libby.  These four incredible young adults were home schooled from beginning to end and are my four “case studies” in home schooling.  In summary:  Home schooling works.  While my home and home school were far from perfect, it was fertile ground to grow kids into responsible adults.  I did my part as best I could so that my kids had the best springboard for launching into adulthood, but believe me, I made a lot of mistakes.  A favorite quote of mine by Dr. James Dobson is, “As a parent you don’t have to do everything right, you just have to do a lot of things right.”  What a relief!  I am no different than you, so if I can do it, you can do it.  If you doubt yourself and find yourself wanting to throw in the towel, contact me, and I will talk you off the ledge. 

I have often suggested to many of you that it is a worthy exercise to write down your home schooling/parenting goals and periodically take that list out, evaluate your progress, and tweak your lifestyle accordingly.  Written goals give you a target at which to aim.  If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.   Some of you have requested the list of goals that I established years ago for my home school.  So for whatever it’s worth, here goes:

1.         Encourage my children’s walk with God.
2.        Develop healthy family relationships.
3.        Build Godly character.
4.        Enhance academic development.
5.        Instill a love of learning in my children and the tools they need to continue to educate themselves for the rest of their lives.

Your kiddos only have so many years left with you in your home- then they are gone.  You can hope that they will still come to you for friendship and counsel- but your years of influence while they are still “wet clay” will end soon.  Be wise with the time you have left. 

For my recent birthday my sweet Linnea gave me a beautiful silver box.  For an inscription on the lid she chose the following quote by Helen Keller:  “I will not just live my life.  I will not just spend my time.  I will invest my life.”  That’s what I look at the past 24 years of parenting as- an investment for the future.  That’s what I look at my years with Potter’s Hand as- an investment for the future.  That’s what I hope you all look at your home schooling as- an invaluable investment for the future. 

Please stay in touch.  You all mean a lot to me.  I realize that I got to know some of you better than others, but you are all important to me.  Really.  I have so appreciated the privilege of being connected with each one of you and I am not willing to give that up.  So, please stay in touch; you are not a bother.  Call me.  Email me.  Text me!  You can even Facebook me!  Those who know me well know that I am always up for a friendly visit over a cup of yummy vanilla chai at Jitters, my favorite coffee shop!  You are all important to me.   

Since Potter’s Hand is kind of like my 5th child, I don’t take lightly the hands that I leave it in.  V**** has proved that she is up to the task.  The fact that she has not turned tail and run over the past year with my overwhelming number of emails, phone calls, and meetings is a very good sign.  I ask that those of you who remain Potter’s Hand members to help V**** and her very capable crew- J***, K*****, and K*****- to row that boat!  It’s easier to get the boat to the other side of the lake when everybody picks up their oars and rows. 

It is difficult to stop doing something that I love to do, but necessity dictates.   As I open the next chapter of my life and place the home schooling baton firmly into the hands of those of you who are privileged to continue in this extraordinary task, keep in mind the words of Og Mandino:   “Take the baton, now.  Run with it!  Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be [gone] at midnight.  Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster.  And do it with no thought of any reward.  Your life will never be the same.” 

I think Jesus would agree.

I love you all.

Smiles,
Lorri   :)

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Beyond Homeschooling...

     Truth be told, you never finish homeschooling.  At least, that is my hope.  I am a homeschooling veteran of 20+ years.  Child number four is just a few short weeks away from graduating from high school.  This, of course, supplies a slue of emotions and memories.  Most of these emotions and memories are good, very good, and I am thankful to be able to honestly say that.  While I wish there were some things I could do over, I find myself eternally grateful for just about every moment of my homeschooling experience.

      I have never been the type of mother to anxiously wish for the next stage of independence in my children.  You know the type that constantly says things like, "I can't wait until he can walk," or "I can't wait until she is potty trained."  That has never been me.  Rather, I have always been the type to seize the moment, smell the roses, lay on a blanket in the back yard with my kiddos and look at the clouds.  And still.......they grow up very quickly.     

     So, my sweet baby will graduate from high school in June and head off to college in August.  It's bittersweet. As a parent, you spend 18 years training your child to be responsible and independent, and when you succeed, it makes you cry! 

     When my oldest child started high school, I had a reality check.  I knew that my homeschooling years were numbered and that I needed a plan "beyond homeschooling." I never really had a moment of epiphany or sudden revelation, but instead the plan developed slowly and somewhat logically.  I am a trained educator...I have been the educator of my children for years...I like educating...Perhaps I should continue educating.  Through a friend I discovered educational therapy which is an intervention that provides one-on-one mediation with students that struggle to learn.  I have been able to apply these skills and knowledge to my remaining years of home education, am helping other families with struggling learners, and have also prepared myself for life beyond homeschooling. 
 
     Today I am an educational therapist and am working on my master's degree. Plus, I hope to teach college someday soon.  That is part of the plan for my life "beyond homeschooling."

     The other part of the plan is to have grown kids that still "want" my help, rather than necessarily "need" my help.  With adult children I fully realize that my role as "Mom" is changing.  No longer am I the authority in my children's lives, but I hope to be a confidante, adviser, and friend.  As a parent I have often felt that the one thing that brings me the greatest joy is to have my children confide in me and trust me.  Therein, I pray, is my life beyond homeschooling. 

Smiles,
Lorri Wilke
:)